Moms Always Know
by Kit Rios
My daughter was my first. I had just turned 18 the summer I had her. I think even then she was smarter than me, was more loving, kind and patient, especially with me. I guess we sort of grew up together.

As a little girl she thought it was unfair that she didn't have a penis like her brother. She asked for trucks and dolls and was good in sports and art. She was happy and smart and watched out for her little brother.

In high school she was popular, busy and had plenty of dates. It wasn't until she was away at college that I wondered if she might be lesbian. Her father and I talked about the possibility and knew that if she was it didn't matter. My main concern was that she would feel comfortable enough to open up to us so that there wouldn't be any walls between us.

When she finally came out to me,  I told her I knew it all along. We hugged and cried and laughed with relief. She said she wanted to be who she really was, no more hiding.

Since that day, I've heard many stories from gays and lesbians about their coming out. It is heartbreaking to me that some of them have ended in rejection from their parents. This I don't understand. My daughter has taught me about love. I idolize her. I have never met a more loving, unselfish, caring person in my life. She continues to reach out and help those around her both in her career and personal life. I wouldn't want her to be any other way than what she is, my daughter. My hero.


[Kit recently wrote something that I wanted to include here. It's in response to the Mormon mother of a gay son who has written a book that includes several chapters detailing all of the things she believes are wrong about homosexuality. Once again, Kit's words are powerful and full of feeling.]

The war to tell the truth about gays is far from over.
As long as there are mothers like that woman who would rather be right than be loving, who would rather control and manipulate than have a relationship with her son,
there is a long way to go. The cost is high for the children of parents of her ilk; it's suicide, depression, a slow death from drugs or bad relationships, it's bashings and hatred or oneself and others.

I have seen the toll her non-loving stance has taken in the lives of gay children. I have seen the tears when they are told they are no longer a part of the family. I have seen the desperation in their eyes, the false bravado of their stance as they attempt to deny that being disowned by a person who's supposed to love them means nothing to them.
I've been witness to the silent breaking of their hearts.
It is enough... I have seen enough and heard enough heartbreak to last a lifetime.

It is ironic to me that a religion purportedly based on
the family and love should in reality be so rooted in
hate.

Kit Rios
  Oh what a tangled web we weave...